Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Programmers Wanted

Have you ever looked at a photo and said to yourself, “This photo looks too good?” Do you sometimes wish that the photos that you take could broadcast the fact that you are a hipster douchebag? Does platform exclusivity make you feel warm and fuzzy inside?

We are in the process of developing a “Professional” photographer suite that runs on a myriad of mobile platforms, such as iOS 2, 3, and 5. Said platform will allow everyday users to act as if they have some photo editing skills, such as adding sepia and black and white filters, or lens flares. And of course this discards the original photos. Who would want to keep that horrid looking thing anyway? You just created art!

We are looking for programmers who have experience in some obscure languages which you probably haven’t heard of, such as Malbolge, Arcode Fire, and Piet. Applicants who possess the ability to locate an unoccupied coffee shop within a 25 block radius, for use as our daily office, are also desired. Compensation will be proportional to the size of the rims of your lens-less glasses, and hinges on how much Zuckerberg is willing to pay.

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