Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Nostalgia-Box 256

We here at Rose-Colored Industries is looking for content developers for our newest gaming console, the Nostalgia-Box 256.  The primary focus of this new console is to bend to the wills of the hard-core gamer demographic.  Instead of focusing on new Intellectual Property, we will instead focus on remaking each users favorite games in the new generation.

Gaming consumers desire the ability to play their favorite game from previous console generations.  Therefore, we are looking for developers to create backwards compatible hardware for our new console.  This will allow customers to play *ANY* created game on the newest platform, assuming they have all of the necessary components (namely the game, the old console, and its associated controller).

Also, it appears that gamers are worried about requiring an always-on connection.  They also dislike the trend of games only having an online multiplayer component.  Therefore, our console will not connect to the internet at all.  All game patches will have to be loaded onto the console via a USB flash drive (not included).

We believe that these minor changes are exactly what the hard-core gaming community desires.  We are looking for developers that are willing to port their old games to a new set of hardware constraints, as well as indie developers to push the state of the art with new game play mechanics that only 20-30 gamers will ever see.

If you are interested in working with our console, contact  We will provide you with a special link to our kickstarter campaign featuring developer only rewards.

Wednesday, May 22, 2013

Google Glass Privacy Filters

The innovative minds at Hear-No:Speak-No, creators of the webcam “sticky-note” privacy filter, are proud to announce their newest prototype: The Google Glass Privacy Filtarrrr.

As mobile technology becomes more prevalent, it is important to keep privacy in mind from the beginning.  As of now, Google Glass cannot peer directly into your soul.  However, the Google Glass terms and conditions do not explicitly state that this feature will never be added into future revisions of the operating system.  There are many times throughout the day that our thoughts diverge into questionable areas.  Our newest technology tries to assuage the potential breach of privacy through the use of the Google Glass device.

Our current prototype is show below.  The user simply places the Privacy Filtarrrr over the eye that Google Glass is monitoring, and prevents the system from picking up any latent thoughts from their subconscious.  No more need to fully remove the google glass device!  Now you can protect your thoughts one second, and watch your favorite internet cat video the next.

Coming soon from Hear-No:Speak-No: Google Glass Privacy Filtarrrr designs.  Now you can show your support for your favorite pointless causes through personalized designs on the face of the Privacy Filtarrrr.

Wednesday, May 15, 2013

You're Going to Need a Larger Business Card

Titles"R"Us provides businesses with indispensable services in Job Title Management and Allocation. Our services allow for creative salary and bonus schemes that effectively obscure the amount each individual is paid by assigning them multiple roles, while simultaneously providing for unlimited upward mobility for any position through a variety of job title modifiers.

Applicants for our Junior-Engineer-of-Systems-Level-IV will work directly with our Vice-Admiral-Chief-Technology-Officer, Executive-Co-Marketer-of-Business-Services, and Under-Secretary-of-Internal-Review-and-Management-Operator-Czar (or as everyone here knows her: Sarah). Applicants will need to demonstrate proficiency with thesauruses, as well as a keen interest in acronym creation.

Wednesday, May 8, 2013

MBAs Needed!

Our start-up, SkilledProgrammersInc., is in crisis: we have neglected to hire any MBAs!

We spent so much time finding the best programmers, software engineers, HCI experts, and various other highly skilled technical experts that we forgot all about hiring anyone to fill the core start-up positions. We have no one to invent useless products and services, no one to convince venture capitalists that those products and services are actually necessary, and worst of all, no one to generate buzz about them on social media sites!

What are we going to do?

If you are qualified, please contact us soon. In the mean time I guess we will all just have to suck it up and work at our well-paying day jobs.

Wednesday, May 1, 2013

Plausible Deniability

Bank of Amoralism Inc., a corporation with a history almost as long as capitalism itself, is preparing to branch out into the vibrant App market. The suite of apps we are currently developing will target a formerly unidentified market that has almost unlimited growth potential.

Everyone recognizes the need to occasionally "disconnect" from our ever increasingly connected world. Our researches have discovered that, likewise, as our world becomes increasingly burdened with accurate and verifiable information, people will need seek out was to "un-truth" from reality from time to time.

We are looking for a wide range of developers to build an extensive array of what we are calling "Obfusticators": programs and apps that allow for the user to escape from demands of accuracy and honesty. For example, we have a prototype spam filter that will retroactively filter important messages so that the user may not be held accountable for reading them. We also have virtual bots that can simulate an online presence, which our testers have found indispensable for "work at home" type situations.

Please send résumés via certified letter to the provided address.