Google Glass Privacy Filters

The innovative minds at Hear-No:Speak-No, creators of the webcam “sticky-note” privacy filter, are proud to announce their newest prototype: The Google Glass Privacy Filtarrrr.

As mobile technology becomes more prevalent, it is important to keep privacy in mind from the beginning.  As of now, Google Glass cannot peer directly into your soul.  However, the Google Glass terms and conditions do not explicitly state that this feature will never be added into future revisions of the operating system.  There are many times throughout the day that our thoughts diverge into questionable areas.  Our newest technology tries to assuage the potential breach of privacy through the use of the Google Glass device.

Our current prototype is show below.  The user simply places the Privacy Filtarrrr over the eye that Google Glass is monitoring, and prevents the system from picking up any latent thoughts from their subconscious.  No more need to fully remove the google glass device!  Now you can protect your thoughts one second, and watch your favorite internet cat video the next.

Coming soon from Hear-No:Speak-No: Google Glass Privacy Filtarrrr designs.  Now you can show your support for your favorite pointless causes through personalized designs on the face of the Privacy Filtarrrr.

(Source.)

You're Going to Need a Larger Business Card

Titles"R"Us provides businesses with indispensable services in Job Title Management and Allocation. Our services allow for creative salary and bonus schemes that effectively obscure the amount each individual is paid by assigning them multiple roles, while simultaneously providing for unlimited upward mobility for any position through a variety of job title modifiers.

Applicants for our Junior-Engineer-of-Systems-Level-IV will work directly with our Vice-Admiral-Chief-Technology-Officer, Executive-Co-Marketer-of-Business-Services, and Under-Secretary-of-Internal-Review-and-Management-Operator-Czar (or as everyone here knows her: Sarah). Applicants will need to demonstrate proficiency with thesauruses, as well as a keen interest in acronym creation.

MBAs Needed!

Our start-up, SkilledProgrammersInc., is in crisis: we have neglected to hire any MBAs!

We spent so much time finding the best programmers, software engineers, HCI experts, and various other highly skilled technical experts that we forgot all about hiring anyone to fill the core start-up positions. We have no one to invent useless products and services, no one to convince venture capitalists that those products and services are actually necessary, and worst of all, no one to generate buzz about them on social media sites!

What are we going to do?

If you are qualified, please contact us soon. In the mean time I guess we will all just have to suck it up and work at our well-paying day jobs.

Plausible Deniability

Bank of Amoralism Inc., a corporation with a history almost as long as capitalism itself, is preparing to branch out into the vibrant App market. The suite of apps we are currently developing will target a formerly unidentified market that has almost unlimited growth potential.

Everyone recognizes the need to occasionally "disconnect" from our ever increasingly connected world. Our researches have discovered that, likewise, as our world becomes increasingly burdened with accurate and verifiable information, people will need seek out was to "un-truth" from reality from time to time.

We are looking for a wide range of developers to build an extensive array of what we are calling "Obfusticators": programs and apps that allow for the user to escape from demands of accuracy and honesty. For example, we have a prototype spam filter that will retroactively filter important messages so that the user may not be held accountable for reading them. We also have virtual bots that can simulate an online presence, which our testers have found indispensable for "work at home" type situations.

Please send résumés via certified letter to the provided address.

Un-Restrained

JustGiveMeOneMoreChance LLC. is looking for talented engineers and programmers to bring a revolutionary product to market. The exact nature of the product must be kept a secret until certain legal matters are settled.

Engineering applicants should have a strong background with UAVs; quadcopters in particular. Programmers will need experience with video tracking, persistent surveillance, face recognition, and autonomous navigation.

If you are reading this, Sarah, I can prove to you that we can be happy together. And until you change your mind, I'll be watching you.

MemeMerch

MemeMerch LLC. is seeking Big Data specialists and Machine Learning experts to automate the creation of our merchandise lines. By analyzing trending topics and consumer behavior we will be able to predict new Memes and be ready with t-shirts, mugs and other consumer goods plastered images of a Pop-Tart cat that has a rainbow shooting out of its posterior (hey, we don't make the Memes; we just predict them).

So if you are one of the handful of researches at the top of these fields, MemeMerch wants you! And be honest, what else are you going to do with your skills? Let's print Rage Comics on tote bags!

ShruteBucks Financials

You: An entrepreneurial company looking for a quick ROI on a short term summer project. The project doesn't matter: you just need to put together a respectable looking team for long enough to dupe some venture capitalists.

The Problem: You can't hire employees because nobody is falling for your equity offers like they were ten years ago. Even college students have caught on to the internship scam and are demanding monetary compensation for their work.

The Solution: ShruteBucks Financials provides custom currencies so that you can pay your employees with real* money. Based off of digital currencies such as Bitcoin and MintChip, our tailor-built currencies have all the features that you have come to expect in currencies, such as buying power^† and inflation. But more importantly, we offer new currency features such as our patent-pending "temporally triggered devaluation" which allows your companies currency's value to drop faster (at a time of your choosing) than a Social Media company's stock after an IPO.

* It is possible, at least in theory, that your company's currency will have actual value.
^† See above