Narrow World Views Inc. is looking for veteran Facebook App developers as we expand our stable of social media viewscape adapters. Applicants should have 20 years of experience developing for Facebook or similar platforms, at least a master's degree in computer science, and a minimum of 5000 friends.
Our company is dedicated to providing its customers with a calm and relaxing social media experience, and to this end we have crafted an array of applications that allow users to automatically filter out anything that may conflict with their world view (thus causing cognitive dissonance and critical thought). Our unique application first builds a profile of the user by examining their browser history, which reveals what type of information the user already selectively seeks out or ignores. The profile is then used to select customizable filters that block any offending content from the user's newsfeed and timeline.
Example filters include: Republican, Democrat, Birther, Vegan, Baby Hater, Socialist, Ayn Rand, Hipster (nothing with more than 10 likes; too popular), Farmvile Request, Your Mother's Posts, Txt Spk, Grammar Nazi; Young People, Old People, Chain Posts, and the entirety of Facebook. Each filter is guaranteed to make sure that the associated content never makes it to your screen.
So join Narrow World Views Inc. today: We make a challenging world simple again*.
*The world never was simple, but we make it look like a 50's sitcom.
No comments:
Post a Comment