Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Alienation Experts Wanted

Piracy is the newest four letter word around the offices of Digital Expressionists (DE). Just because we “stifle innovation” by releasing the same game every year doesn't justify the lost revenue from piracy of our “recycled” games. Unfortunately, our recent attempts to thwart such inconceivable attacks to our way of life have been met with heavy backlash. We are looking for software and hardware design experts to assist in our quest to truly put an end to piracy, one legitimate customer at a time.

Our recent attempts, requiring a constant internet connection to play a single player game, has led to large outcry from our customers. Who cares that people in the middle of South Dakota don’t have a reliable internet connection? Neither do the pirates in the South Pacific, but they still are somehow able to play our software from the middle of the ocean.

Our newest theory is to include a hardware dongle with each copy of our newest game, Jennifer Jones Curling ‘13. This dongle will be required to play the game, and will also not allow the game to be played if the salt content of the air exceeds some threshold. That should stop those dirty pirates from being able to steal our games!

For those of you who like curling, you might want to move away from beaches.  Not that Canadian beaches actually exist.

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