Wednesday, November 28, 2012

It Just Works!

Are you tired of cleaning up your parent's computer? Is your Aunt always asking you to "clean up her cpu?" Do your grandparents constantly complain about how slow their system is? Are they running Internet Explorer 5 with all but the lower two inches of the screen dominated by useless toolbars?

Is their primary contribution to the Internet adding one more zombie computer to a bot-net? Do they refuse to learn anything new about computers?

Our market research shows that this is a rapidly growing demographic, and Computer Illiteracy Corp. is a new non-profit (501(c)) that has formed to serve the needs of reluctant family computer experts. We will provide computers that run secured Linux variants that have been re-skinned and crippled to provided a near-perfect Windows computing experience.

Imagine the shitty but familiar interface of Windows 98 and the sluggish pace of IE4 (complete with AOL skin and emulated modem noises) but with the security and piece of mind of Ubuntu 12.04 and Chrome!

Undoing the hard work of thousands in the FOSS community is no small task. We are looking for designers to create fake toolbars for chrome, HCI experts to re-work Unity to look like various Windows versions, and operating system engineers to introduce the instability and error-screens that bath us in that all-too familiar blue glow.

So help Computer Illiteracy Corp move us into the future, by emulating the past! Because learning new things is scary.

Alternatively, we could just ship Ubuntu computers as is, and tell people that they are Macs.

No comments:

Post a Comment