News Cyclone

Cable News Stations today are the apes encircling the obelisk that is Social Media: they can sense that it is important, but they haven’t a clue what it is or how it works. And they are fairly certain that it will give them an edge over the competition (allowing them to beat their competition over the head with a metaphorical femur).

But Social Media isn’t some impenetrable, intelligence imbuing artifact from another world: it is a buzzword for a collection of services that allows users to shotgun blast their every insipid thought to as many other people that care to listen. And lots of people listen, because as inane as a B-list Celebrity’s tweets may be, they are a thousand times more interesting that most people’s day-to-day lives.

So how is Social Media going to revolutionize Cable News? Let’s be honest here; the population’s knee-jerk reaction to every news story is not news by itself, and has no value. Cable News is just making a futile attempt to appear “hip” and “jiggy-with-it” to a crowd that has already abandoned them for more immediate sources of news.

But INFORMATION STORM! will change all of that. By replacing the old analog “newscasters” with infographics, live streams, instant polls, trending tweets, tag-clouds, #meters, bullet points, sound bites, trend tickers, info-splosions, applause meters and status updates, we are going to evolve into the next level of news broadcasting.

And we need talented developers to make it happen. Applicants should be experts in Reverse Information Theory and have experience in Information Amplification. The task is simple: by aggregating enough “news” sources, no matter how little actual information each may contain, we can piece together actual news. Like forming a raindrop out of billions of water molecules. Instead of condensing the news, we are condensating it. INFORMATION STORM!